weird world

god it's not particularly easy, just back from a long meeting, today started at 7.00 and ended at 1.10, I have no idea how it got to be march already, there apparently is some research that explains how time moves faster as you get older, I've never seen it, but i know for sure that i have never ever had to manage my time as carefully as i do these days.

so much has already happened this year, i wish i felt a bit more "in control" but it seems that it's not going to happen, the nest few months seem even busier than the ones gone by.... i look back at my time working for various companies and simply marvel at how laid back life was......how there was time for coffee and spinning round the place and perhaps in 3 years time i;ll be doing exactly the same thing....jesus i hope not....if that was the case..what would be the point.....sleep beckons..... night

I never want to grow up!

As I get a bit older it seems to me that I have a fierce fear of getting a bit bland, of even becoming beige, losing the edge, getting a bit predictable.
I need an edge to keep me feeling alive, to feel vibrant I want to have the potential for pretty much anything going on in my life.
I don't really do "safe" very well and I have been doing safe and careful and secure for a fair while now. THe business is going really well, all my relationships are in good nick, my head is straight, money is plentiful, and yet i have a yearning. a yearning to have a right go at something, to do something a bit mad that will again drive me right out of my comfort zone.... i need to push the boundaries of a few things, to redefine the terms.
It's time for me to be a bit controversial again, to get a bit dangerous, to assert myself...watch out world!!!!!!

I blame the Kaiser Chiefs myself

Mother of God...... a real riot, it was inevitable really.

Is there no lengths to which the Irish Govt will not go in order to appease the DUP?

Have we no gumption at all, are we happy to allow the picture of a man who orchestrated the Dublin bombings be carried past the GPO and celebrated as a victim?

No side should be allowed to parade it's pain as a badge of honour, of course it's going to cause trouble.

I love Ulster meself, grand spot, but for gods sake, why would we be allowing Frazer and his bigotted fellow travellers down the street.

I totally condemn the rioting, it was caused mainly by a few RSF members, and then everyone with a grudge of any description joined in....

in a way Roy Keane has saved the country again, you see if Celtic had not signed Roy, and played him aganst Clyde, then they would have been playing a cup 1/4 final yesterday, which would mean that Frazers (pub at top of o'connell st) would have been packed with every looney north of the liffey...and with a few bevvies on they would all have joined in too..and as the mere sight of a union flag or a prod drives these nutters over the edge... things would have been much worse.... so in effect Roy saved Dublin (feck off..it's as credible as the "roy dragged us to Japan on his own shite we've had to listen to)

McDowell should resign for two reasons

1. For allowing this march in the first place.
2. For then failing to ensure it was policed correctly.

we'll have to enter your man in the next world wheel barrow throwing championships.

the spice of life......

As hard as it is to believe, I've been accused of only posting pictures of attractive females on here, even though there are several pics of myself....

so here's a cool guy from a cool movie... now no more complaints!

Sometimes I cannot see the range of my knowledge and abilities, sometimes I simply do not see that other people do not know the things that I know, things around human performance, sales performance, management performance and mental preperation.

I fail to realise that others have not taken every decent self help book of the last 20 years on board, I fail to realise that I have read, listened to, studied and taken courses for the last 10 years striving to become that which I am becoming.

I don’t appreciate that I am well into the top 1% in the area of human performance, political skills and understanding and using perception.

I try to tie up every single end whilst heading off to speak to a group of unit managers who likely have been exposed to very little of this ever in their lives.

I have lived, sold, bought, fought, failed, lay in victory, clenched my fists in anger, in determination. And all the while I have been wide open to the learning, always open to the learning.

What I am looking at is a complete misjudgement of the groups I go in front of,…. The very fact that they are there means they are already on board.

I need to quickly establish my credentials, and then get stuck into it all.

Made every mistake it’s possible to make.
I’ve worked extensively in every area I coach
This stuff was always my dream – I always wanted to do this.

where's the buzz?

I need a positive buzz from somewhere quick.... I have been doing too much work with individuals and one fairly unresponsive group....and it does not give me the buzz I need to operate at my best.

Plus I just got bad news on a contract I was 90% confident of getting.

ah well.. I have battled on through all that work and can invoice it tomorrow... even if it does not inspire me at least it still pays well.... I guess that's what lawyers and accountants feel like the whole time.

I'm sure theres a fascinating job just around the corner...... apart from that.... personally I have been feeling overwhelmed with all the expectations of me (realistic and otherwise) and have a to do list that is just as long as anything at work.....

This weekend i'm going to get a well deserved rest.....

Stranger and stranger.

It's hard to contemplate the misery that must be life inside some peoples heads.

It's hard to understand what horror must be in there.

A fella once told me that the inside of his head was like a bad neighbourhood....it was dangerous to go in there alone.

There's something weird in a society where over 500 (at least) people a year take thier own lives.

Is it a lack of connection? Is it the new focus on the individual rather than community? Is it pure selfishness? I really don't know.... all i know is that connections are important - Community is important - selflessness is important - appreciation is important -

I wish the world was a bit kinder!

My first ever completely wireless broadband blog

That's the first ever edition of playboy.... you might recognise the person on the cover.
and this is my first ever completely wireless blog..... did one through the mobile before christmas....but this is broadband baby.... i love the freedom of it...

watched that Pride and prejudice with Keira tonight....it was really good..

now i'm off for a surf

stills from the DVD

The guy who is doing the promotional DVD for me has sent me a few stills from the shoot, don't I look only gorgeous?

If i had to guess what age this guy is I'd have to say somewhere between 32 and 35.

25 WOULD BE FAR TOO BIG AN EXAGGERATION TO BELIEVE!

The dreaded NLP word!

Imagine you'd never met a green person before, and suddenly you are walking down the street and you see two green people approaching, they jump on you, give you a few thumps and steal your wallet.

A few weeks later you are out walking again...when what comes around the corner but two green men.....

What do you do?....

a. Run like hell?
b. Think.... well the aforementioned green men are probably not representative of the green population as a whole and thus i can be confident that it's safe to walk right past them.

truth is..... most people would run like hell.... i know i would....

My initial experiences with NLP were awful..... I met some people who raved about it ... then i did a one day course and nearly got sick.... then i met another person who was mad into it and nearly gawked all over again.

So why have I just booked a six day NLP course.

a couple of reasons.

1. I can only assess things by experiencing them....if i don't have the experience of something...thyen no amount of scientific proof will change me.

2. it is unfair to make judgements on the basis of very limited or filtered experiences. As i get older i see more and more how people make definate judgements based upon very limitied experience....i don't want to be like that.

3. NLP is becoming much more mainstream and lucrative.... all the time i notice that NLP is mainstreaming itself into a recognised and except technique or skill. like things psychotherapy, or customer service, things that were not recognised previously are now the sources of mainstream income... like ringtones and crazy frogs.

4. I also ned a fresh dive into the "personal development" world myself and i have heard many good things about the 2 guys who run the course.

And so I may be like St Paul on the way home from Damascus in a few months, evangelically expounding the virtues of the NLP thing that i previously dismissed and even despised, if i'm not i'll have got through a fierce amount of time and money discovering that it's all Bullsh*t

but then as they say themselves, there is no failure, there's only feedback!

give my head peace.

am addled, have quite a lot of real work to do, but am being dragged over coals regarding the voluntary work i do as well, I would tell them to just shove it except it's not really my style, i am dealing with some fairly blue A type characters and seeing as how i have difficulty with those type of people anyway, dealing with them through issues that i don't really have the resources to cover sometimes makes me want to feckin thump someone.

some people seems to think that if you are not frowning,. grimacing, screaming and bleeding... that your not really trying....i prefer to do my business with a smile on my face....and sure i'm not the detail king of the north west,.. well i can still get most projects delivered on time..... i gave up on that trying to be perfect lark years ago....and i have no intention of going back.....

I'll be 41 soon.....that's fierce old!

I pledge alliegiance to the Flag

Those who are really running the world.
Those who really make the political decisions.
Those who manipulate the media to influence and create "public opinion"
Those who fool us into thinking we know what's going on.
Those who create enemys and foes we can all fight against.
Those who have taken the power
Those who have no regard for people other than as "factors of production"
This is the flag of which Marx foretold.
This is the flag which will "unite' all nations.
You have nothing to lose but your rights and your human dignity.

This is the real America!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This is the real God!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ save us all.

Am having a somewhat gloomy day today

You'd never have guessed!

much harder than i thought

I really need to no reason to post a picture of Emmanuelle Beart.... star of the wonderful manon de sources, the follow up movie to the wonderful Jean de Florette.

I have a bit more empathy eith those guys after spending the entire day filming for the promotional DVD, god it was so much tougher than i ever thought....

if i had to do it again i would have prepared and rehearsed a lot more thoroughly...but like all the stuff...hell i got through it..we will have to wiat and see what the quality emerges like... buut it felt ok..

The GAA work is driving me nuts at the moment, the smart thing would have been to just up and out last decemeber, but now that i am there for another year...there's no point playing the martyr.... let's just get on with it.

There must be a place in the middle!

Had the most interesting weekend....read a lot, thought a lot, listened a lot (really like that Jose Gonzales album), even wrote a lot.

I am fascinated by belief and fundamentalism.... those who think they really know... the ones who really believe, i have learned to be very careful of these people, to question everything but not adopt questioning and second guessing as a lifestyle.

The book above is called SHAM, and it's an diatribe against the self help movement, but it's valuable as an alternative point of view.

It rails equally against the twin self help groups of victimisation and empowerment and examines the relationship and effect of both on individuals and modern society.

Victimisation is the "disease" mentality (typified by groups like alcoholics anonymous) of labelling things like alcoholism or obesity a "disease" which absolves the "sufferer" from either guilt or responsibility, talking about some "gene" which causes these things

Alternatively the empowerment movement (typified by the tony robbins of this world) leads people down the road of telling people they can do, be or have anything in the world they desire, which is not true either) He does make an interesting distinction between the concept of potential and reality...in other words you could (theoritically) become president of the united states... but we all know you won't. he says these guys sell potential as reality and that's why they are so addictive (it's a disease you know) and peddling hope is not that difficult to a world hungry for answers..

I enjoyed Roisin Ingle in the times on saturday.....and Chris barrows blog.... they are very open about how they are getting on..... maybe a bit too much but i like it....

there's a middle ground for everything..... between the stiff upper lip and the blubbering fool

between the niave glomp who accepts and believes everything and the hardened skeptic who believes nothing,

between all absolutes.... does this mean there is no absolute truth...... perhaps... does it mean that nothing matters.... no.... what does it mean then?

it means an enquiring mind is a good mind....but maybe we mix up enquiring with simply seeking to prove what we have already decided.

which puts us right back in the hamster wheel again.

I have real writing to do...hope it turns out better than this

Can't speak.....

am in the middle of a most interesting experiment, was on my feet all day today, my throat is full of razor blades and it kills me to speak...thus i shall try to get through the next day while speaking a little as humanely possible. this will be interesting for me as i am one of the greatest yappers in history.

I realise that a big change in my life in the last few years has been around the areas of endurance, courage, stickability, persistance and not giving up so easy. it would have been possible to not work today, but self employment through a conbination of fear, ambition and nescessity forces me to stretch myself and be there on days when i don't feel like it... thus i had the experience of getting up with hangovers before christmas and having to work (as opposed to staying in bed) and this week i have had the experience of forcing myself to do my duty rather than taking the easy way out... it's a major change from ringing in sick and getting a cert.

however it is still hugely important to take care of myself and not to overdo it... (ah yeah..laugh away) so over the next day or two i am taking a vow of virtual silence and am going to rest up and catch up on some writing and tendersw and stuff i need to do.

Did you recognise Sharon?..... Jesus does she look good for her age

Paul.

got there!

I was'nt brilliant, or inspired or amazing or stunning or anything like it, but i got there, I did'nt run away... stuck it out and eventually emerged out the other side
what are we goin to do today brain?


same thing we do everyday...... plan to take over the world.

Very Quickly

I only have 2 minutes, this is exactly what life feels like today.... I have to be on my feet in an hour to run a day long course in management skills and everything in life and work and my head feels all over the fucking place.

the thing about showbusiness though is that the "show must go on" and if this business is anything it's showbusiness, so i am going to get out there and burst through the day and put on a fantastic day for these people

later dudes

another new year

I have been a most reticent blogger for the last few weeks.... mainly due to a combination of business and apathy,
but i have many new years resolutions and this is one of them...to at least make an effort to write the diary, the online one a bit more regularly... it's bloody fascinating now for me to go back through the archive now ans see what was going on...for anyone else i imagine it would be a bit like gargling diesel but then this was for me in the first place.

Here are the resolutions, each one is run on a daily basis, i learned years ago never to say never and never to give up on or commit to anything forever.

I am keeping a journal every day.
I am going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week.
I am getting in 3 or 4 runs per week. We started at 20 mins... up to an half and hour now...watch out new york.
I have not smoked since the turn of the year.
Neither have i consumed that alcohol stuff.
I am working away..... and it's starting to fill up again rapidly.
I am keeping in better touch with my friends and being more assertive.

ah there's loads more....business is going to be mighty..... the house is a happy place... i'm in a good spot myself..... I am in love with the whole feckin thing.....what more do you want eh!

oh...and if i had to choose between you and Angelina Jolie....... i would choose you....and if you believe that you're a bigger feckin eejit than i ever thought before.

Happy New Year!

It's been a bloody busy Christmas..... had a lot of fun.. but it was a bit frantic at times heading here and there, and i really don't relax well outside my own house.

read a bit, listened to a lot of music.... the green day DVD and CD was the soundtrack to my holiday... also really liked the magic numbers and KT Turnstall, the Kaiser Chiefs were a bit of a dissapointment.

so i plan to have a few lazy days now before beating back into things on Thursday.

I have a few new year resoolutions, the main one is to get fit for the hard training that will begin around the middle of february,
i also intend to double the turnover of the business again this year, have a few nice breaks, and be kinder to myself!

i want to be as close as i can be to the people who are most precious to me, and enjoy those who bring fun to my life

as Jim Morrisson would say..... let it roll baby roll!

It's Christmas

Hello boys and girls.

It's almost Christmas and the world is a wonderful place, I have had work business replaced with the general madness of this time of year....truth is I love it.

This year I met so many wonderful amazing people that i did'nt even know last year, and those that i did know continue to reveal amazing depths and talents that nobody ever knew they had.

the years business was brilliant, next year will be even better.

I am giving the football one final major shot.

so from Jan 1st, I have to get rid of a few things from my life and add on a few more.

Alcohol has to go
Cigarettes have to go.
weights need to be pushed (feckin gyms)
running has to be done (OMG).

having said that...the side benefits will be huge.

No Hangovers.
More money
better health
fit fitter fittest
and I'll be a babe (ok maybe not a babe)

having put all that done i'm not sure whether i'm looking forward to the football or the side benefits the most.

finally have the wireless broadband installed at home, so perhaps i will be a more regular blogger

enjoy it and have a wonderful christmas

Paul.