My meme

The word "meme" was introduced by Richard Dawkins in his book, the selfish gene in 1976.

A meme is an idea that spreads, like a virus, through a population which can change the way we think about things, An example of a meme might be that you can do all your Christmas shopping without leaving your house, unthinkable a few years ago, but the idea has now spread and in a few years many many more people will feel safe and confident doing their shopping online.

So what's my meme?

Real change is a adaptive process over time, it's neither impossible nor transformational, but evolutionary.

For coaches this means we should be encouraging small but significant changes rather than trying to change the world, in terms of managing expectations we should not be promising revolution, but rather helping people to move towards what they want a step at a time, change can only really occur when we get momentum, not the pretendy enthusiasm which follows a motivational event, but real momentum built on concrete personal evidence.

I badly ned to find simpler language to get this across, but that's basically the idea I want to propogate.

Everton 7 Sunderland 1

This can't be right can it? i thought it was all about not failing to prepare, and being incredibly intense and not having any big egos in the dressing room.

And then getting stuffed 7-1, not by United, Liverpool, Arsenal or even Chelsea, but by Everton.

Frankly I'm appalled, I don't know what to think anymore.

Much better when it's busy.

Life is just much better when it's busy, whenever I read through my insights personal profile, it strikes me how easy I get bored and how dissatisfied I get when I don't have lots to do.

Too much of a good thing!

It's probably not a good idea to be blogging while watching TV.

I'm watching the mind blowing "high society", the RTE programme which makes me want to run out the front door and buy a gram from the first dealer I meet, It would certainly makes you think about the concept of addiction.

Cocaine looks to be great, the only reason people seem to stop using is that they get into financial trouble, lose a job, or get forced into rehab by somebody who really cares about them.

There is very little evidence that people ever go into rehab voluntarily, in fact the guy at the end made two very interesting statements.

1. I am certain that 95% of the best times in my entire life were when I was on a cocaine blast.
2. If i was 65 and diagnosed with a terminal illness would I go back using? You bet i would.

Now Brian Treacy "guru" used to have a goal setting exercise where he would ask what you would do if you were told you only had 6 months to live, I doubt he ever got "do as much coke as I can afford" as a response.

The problem in life is not drink or cocaine or sex or even scientology, the problem in life is that you can have too much of a good thing.

Irish people are just shite at moderation.

Absorbed!

How does it feel to be in "the flow"?

Completely involved, focused, concentrating - with this either due to innate curiosity or as the result of training
Sense of ecstasy - of being outside everyday reality
Great inner clarity - knowing what needs to be done and how well it is going
Knowing the activity is doable - that the skills are adequate, and neither anxious or bored
Sense of serenity - no worries about self, feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of ego - afterwards feeling of transcending ego in ways not thought possible
Timeliness - thoroughly focused on present, don't notice time passing
Intrinsic motivation - whatever produces "flow" becomes its own reward

it's just a lovely place to be, when high skills meets high challenge.

Capturing Mary.

There's a massive amount happening in my life at the moment, it's not all positive and I find it hard to sit and simply focus on one thing for too long, there's also a great temptation for distraction from the difficulties I'm experiencing so it was in this light that I sat down last night to watch the new Stephen Poliakoff movie "Capturing Mary" on BBC.

After last week watching the Jimmy McGovern drama "The Street" all I can say is thank God for the BBC. They really do make the most wonderful pieces allowing one to forget all their worries and be transported to a different place for a little while. One of our greatest needs in modern society seems to be the need to be "distracted" from life by something else, TV, drugs, religion, something that will make us feel better about ourselves for a time. I usually think that this is taking refuge and failing to confront the issues in life, but I think I might be a little more conpassionate about it in the future.

There are some things in life that cannot be either controlled on wished away. There are difficulties that just are, things that can't be effectively confronted or run away from, perhaps these are the things that simply must be endured. Of course we are determined by our choices, but there are things in life we simply don't choose, illness, difficult relationships, and family are just 3 examples, we also have to expect that once you choose you can gain but you can also lose, so it's not just about choosing it's about trying to make the right choices.

This was intended to be about capturing mary, but as usual it's about me.

Births, Deaths and Marriages.

I'm off to the wedding of my friend Brian, and while I'm at the wedding I'll be thinking about the breakup of another friends marriage. And then in the next 12 months someone will die, and new people and things will be born, some will fall in love and more will fall out of it and do you know what... that's just fucking life.

It's births, deaths, marriages, divorces, tax, christmases, sex, sickness, joy, holidays, hope, pain, victories and car accidents.

It's a bloody rollercoaster because it's supposed to be, it's either highs and lows, or it flatlines... at which point it's so beige that you might as well be bloody dead anyway.

You want a life without pain, try a lobotomy? cocaine? Jumping off a bridge?

Otherwise it's a marriage today and a divorce tomorrow, a birth sunday and a death monday.. that's life man. don't expect it any other way.

Saturday afternoon

Spent a lovely few hours on Sat afternoon just going through and scanning some old pics, these are my maternal grandparents, taken in Glasgow in 1934

Where does it all go?

Nothing like this time of year for concentrating the mind, October 31st is the tax deadline (us tech friendly online dudes get an extra few weeks) and I'm just about to sit with the accountant to sign off on 2006.

Fantastic year, fantastic revenues, excellent profits... I have only one question ... WHERE THE **** DOES IT ALL GO?

Sure i can see some of it, in and around the house, and we did a few things of note, but I am totally shocked as to how much it costs just to live a "normal" life in Ireland these days.

It's difficult for us fortysomethings, I remember my first job had a salary of less than ten grand a year, maybe i still kinda think like that.... that if you have forty or fifty you should be well off.... it certainly does not work like that anymore... there are only two cures, cut back on expenses or earn more revenue, I'll try a bit of both and see what happens.

Update.... Just back from the meeting, that's the revenue sorted for another 12 months, it's amazing how quick it all comes around.