I have this thing going on where i am pulled between two forces (a bit like Mr. Burgess) first i want to go out and shake the trees and generate as many ideas and work as possible, on the other hand i am always afraid of taking on too much and then letting people down because of my inability to deliver.
And sometimes i get stuck between both stools and get feck all done either way, and that frustrates the hell out of me too, i have this huge load of presenting coming up, and still have to keep the kettle on the boil around getting new work... and the thing is that two different people have told me today that this feeling will never go away, the feeling of notn quite being sure whether i've done enoguh, planned far enough ahead, covered off all the bases and the paperwork, wondering if in some company somehwere they are saying i did not do exactly what i said on the tin.
and despite all this i still presented for one more big job today, and i have another pitch on monday and 2 on tuesday.... truth is if the four of them say yes then i'm fucked... but then that's a bridge we'll cross as they say.
am addicted to downloading pictures i like on the web, it's so easy on the mac.... i love the mac....the feel of it, the sound of the keys, the way everything is so bloody obvious and simple.,.and i like what it says about me... it's not beige is it.
