This may all have been prompted by the death on sunday night of a guy i knew who was the same age as me, or maybe not, I'm not sure.
Somedays the voice is there, Monday was one, especially the morning bit, I was useless, no good, life was pointless, and then for some reason i can never put my finger on it brightened up, I felt a lot better and then yesterday morning (Tuesday) I decided to write out all the things in my life that i was grateful for. I found it difficult to get started, family, house, friends, the normal stuff. But then after a minute or two the pen started flying, and i was unstoppable, i'm grateful for my brain, my legs, my ability to sell and keep customers, fun, where i live, the rossies, people who half understand me, long daft chats about life, the gnawing feeling that often keeps me on my toes, writing this daft blog, music, my ipod, my famous right knee, my childhood family, and more and more stuff just kept flying out until i had pages filled with things i'm greatful.
Here's the thing, I often feel down and envious of people who have it solved, those who are so relaxed that nothing is bothering them, but i'm pretty sure nobody has it solved all the time, everybody has doubt, it's part of life, but at the same time life is pretty good, whether we can see that or not.... here's a video that kind of sums it up for me
Somedays i know it's a wonderful world but I can't really see it.
