I just finished Paul Gascoignes autobiography. It's a portrait of a talented selfish and attention seeking individual who has always looked to others to shoulder the responsibility of his own actions.
It's also the story of a kind generous person who was largely the result of a thoughtless and traumatic upbringing.
There's just no "perfect" in anyones life.
In this book it's easy to see that we all have two overlapping personalities, the one that is capable of wonderful gestures and extraordinary caring and love. and the one which in moments of self loathing is capable of desperate acts of hate and selfishness.
The woes of Gazza largely stemmed from his inability to accept and love himself. It's a place we all regularly find ourselves. (I had a row with my daughter this morning and am in that place right now). There are times when we can't see the good side of ourselves at all, this leads to despair and then there are times when we can clearly see our value in the world and to those around us.
At 40 I've seen enough to know the "perfect front" is just that! a perfect front. If you don't believe me just watch a few episodes of desperate housewives. and never envy anyone what they are or have, you have no idea what's going on in thier lives, you have no idea the price that has been paid.
