Will I sue?

I just found this image on Henrik Larsson's website, he definately never asked my permission to use it, plus i think he may have altered it to give the impression that he is a celtic legend too.

All I can say I my defence is that I was younger at the time and needed the money.

What I'm getting myself for Christmas.

No not the full father ted collection on DVD. This year I'm getting myself a good kick up the arse.

It's been a while since i did anything that really challenged me or stretched me. and although things are grand I can feel them getting comfortable the last while, it's the watching eastenders and eating full bags of sensations (thai red chilli flavour) kind of comfortable and with Christmas coming up, that's really the wrong direction for me to be going.

When will the penny drop that I'm only really happy when I'm trying to climb a mountain, once i get there and sit on the top for a while I get bored, frustrated and have that sense that I should be doing something else.

So that's what I'm giving myself this Christmas, a good boot up the hole, the sort that gets me out exercising more, out working harder, reading writing and presenting more, playing a bit more sport, doing the christmas swim, enjoying life rather than sitting round staying warm.

I thought your man Kahlil Gibran put it fairly well.

"verily the lust for comfort murders the passion in the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral"



An after Christmas update, I did actually take my medicine on this one, and although i did manage a lot of sitting around, I also visited several people, had loads of visitors, did the christmas day swim, played 2 hours of basketball on boxing day, played a full gaelic football match on 27th, had a limited game of cricket several days and played the traditional new years day "american football game" now the trick is to keep it up cos Jan is often a month when it's hard to get really motivated

The ups and downs of life.

Maybe it's too early to be doing a review of the year, but this has definately been a most interesting one.

The American poet Robert Frost (the road less travelled by fella) said

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on"

It was Joy's birthday yesterday, she's 15 now, and she got out of hospital where she's been for the last week after getting a serious fright, so i'm in appreciative mode right now.

Christmas is coming, fast, there's a few balls to fall into place before that though, I'm never sure how they are going to fall, but I know there are going to be some predictable and some surprises, just like life itself

the only reason i put up that pic is because i like it, it was taken a few weeks ago at a friends wedding and i was obviously happy being the centre of attention.

My meme

The word "meme" was introduced by Richard Dawkins in his book, the selfish gene in 1976.

A meme is an idea that spreads, like a virus, through a population which can change the way we think about things, An example of a meme might be that you can do all your Christmas shopping without leaving your house, unthinkable a few years ago, but the idea has now spread and in a few years many many more people will feel safe and confident doing their shopping online.

So what's my meme?

Real change is a adaptive process over time, it's neither impossible nor transformational, but evolutionary.

For coaches this means we should be encouraging small but significant changes rather than trying to change the world, in terms of managing expectations we should not be promising revolution, but rather helping people to move towards what they want a step at a time, change can only really occur when we get momentum, not the pretendy enthusiasm which follows a motivational event, but real momentum built on concrete personal evidence.

I badly ned to find simpler language to get this across, but that's basically the idea I want to propogate.

Everton 7 Sunderland 1

This can't be right can it? i thought it was all about not failing to prepare, and being incredibly intense and not having any big egos in the dressing room.

And then getting stuffed 7-1, not by United, Liverpool, Arsenal or even Chelsea, but by Everton.

Frankly I'm appalled, I don't know what to think anymore.

Much better when it's busy.

Life is just much better when it's busy, whenever I read through my insights personal profile, it strikes me how easy I get bored and how dissatisfied I get when I don't have lots to do.

Too much of a good thing!

It's probably not a good idea to be blogging while watching TV.

I'm watching the mind blowing "high society", the RTE programme which makes me want to run out the front door and buy a gram from the first dealer I meet, It would certainly makes you think about the concept of addiction.

Cocaine looks to be great, the only reason people seem to stop using is that they get into financial trouble, lose a job, or get forced into rehab by somebody who really cares about them.

There is very little evidence that people ever go into rehab voluntarily, in fact the guy at the end made two very interesting statements.

1. I am certain that 95% of the best times in my entire life were when I was on a cocaine blast.
2. If i was 65 and diagnosed with a terminal illness would I go back using? You bet i would.

Now Brian Treacy "guru" used to have a goal setting exercise where he would ask what you would do if you were told you only had 6 months to live, I doubt he ever got "do as much coke as I can afford" as a response.

The problem in life is not drink or cocaine or sex or even scientology, the problem in life is that you can have too much of a good thing.

Irish people are just shite at moderation.

Absorbed!

How does it feel to be in "the flow"?

Completely involved, focused, concentrating - with this either due to innate curiosity or as the result of training
Sense of ecstasy - of being outside everyday reality
Great inner clarity - knowing what needs to be done and how well it is going
Knowing the activity is doable - that the skills are adequate, and neither anxious or bored
Sense of serenity - no worries about self, feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of ego - afterwards feeling of transcending ego in ways not thought possible
Timeliness - thoroughly focused on present, don't notice time passing
Intrinsic motivation - whatever produces "flow" becomes its own reward

it's just a lovely place to be, when high skills meets high challenge.

Capturing Mary.

There's a massive amount happening in my life at the moment, it's not all positive and I find it hard to sit and simply focus on one thing for too long, there's also a great temptation for distraction from the difficulties I'm experiencing so it was in this light that I sat down last night to watch the new Stephen Poliakoff movie "Capturing Mary" on BBC.

After last week watching the Jimmy McGovern drama "The Street" all I can say is thank God for the BBC. They really do make the most wonderful pieces allowing one to forget all their worries and be transported to a different place for a little while. One of our greatest needs in modern society seems to be the need to be "distracted" from life by something else, TV, drugs, religion, something that will make us feel better about ourselves for a time. I usually think that this is taking refuge and failing to confront the issues in life, but I think I might be a little more conpassionate about it in the future.

There are some things in life that cannot be either controlled on wished away. There are difficulties that just are, things that can't be effectively confronted or run away from, perhaps these are the things that simply must be endured. Of course we are determined by our choices, but there are things in life we simply don't choose, illness, difficult relationships, and family are just 3 examples, we also have to expect that once you choose you can gain but you can also lose, so it's not just about choosing it's about trying to make the right choices.

This was intended to be about capturing mary, but as usual it's about me.

Births, Deaths and Marriages.

I'm off to the wedding of my friend Brian, and while I'm at the wedding I'll be thinking about the breakup of another friends marriage. And then in the next 12 months someone will die, and new people and things will be born, some will fall in love and more will fall out of it and do you know what... that's just fucking life.

It's births, deaths, marriages, divorces, tax, christmases, sex, sickness, joy, holidays, hope, pain, victories and car accidents.

It's a bloody rollercoaster because it's supposed to be, it's either highs and lows, or it flatlines... at which point it's so beige that you might as well be bloody dead anyway.

You want a life without pain, try a lobotomy? cocaine? Jumping off a bridge?

Otherwise it's a marriage today and a divorce tomorrow, a birth sunday and a death monday.. that's life man. don't expect it any other way.

Saturday afternoon

Spent a lovely few hours on Sat afternoon just going through and scanning some old pics, these are my maternal grandparents, taken in Glasgow in 1934

Where does it all go?

Nothing like this time of year for concentrating the mind, October 31st is the tax deadline (us tech friendly online dudes get an extra few weeks) and I'm just about to sit with the accountant to sign off on 2006.

Fantastic year, fantastic revenues, excellent profits... I have only one question ... WHERE THE **** DOES IT ALL GO?

Sure i can see some of it, in and around the house, and we did a few things of note, but I am totally shocked as to how much it costs just to live a "normal" life in Ireland these days.

It's difficult for us fortysomethings, I remember my first job had a salary of less than ten grand a year, maybe i still kinda think like that.... that if you have forty or fifty you should be well off.... it certainly does not work like that anymore... there are only two cures, cut back on expenses or earn more revenue, I'll try a bit of both and see what happens.

Update.... Just back from the meeting, that's the revenue sorted for another 12 months, it's amazing how quick it all comes around.

Sometimes my head hurts!

There are times I'm not sure if I'm heading in the right direction, if what i'm doing is actually making a difference.

At the weekend I got a lovely email from a client, and it reminded me of a story I heard from another guy on a course a few months ago who said.

"this young fella was walking along a beach when he came across hundreds and hundreds of stranded starfish, so he stopped and began throwing them back into the water, one by one, after a while a man comes along and while giving him a funny look asked him what he was doing?

The young fella said he was saving the starfish.

But the older man said... Look son, you're mad, there are thousands and thousands of starfish, you can't possibly make a difference.

At which point the young fella picked up another starfish, threw it back into the sea and replied.

Well I made a difference to that one.

Anvils around the corner!

"Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday"

Sunscreen - Baz Lurhmann

Amazing how we've all been kinda programmed to worry, but the man is spot on, it's the things we don't know that should be bothering us, not the things we do.

and here was I thinking that as I got older life would have fewer surprises.

Not true - There's anvils around corners..

effin eddie

I first heard effin eddie in 1994, and 13 years later it's still as funny as ever.... enjoy

The wedding.

Such a good looking family....

We had a brilliant time at my brother's wedding in Kerry.

Simplify

It's the start of October, the last quarter of the year.

The summer has been very busy and fairly stressful, and in the last week there has been my brother's wedding (which was brilliant) my sister coming home for good from the states, my fathers 1st anniversary and several other things that had to be done.

So when I sat down last night to write a bit, the only word that would come into my head was simplify. I really only want to achieve two things over the next 3 months.

1. To work hard, bring in lots of business and have a storming year end.
2. To work out, maintain and improve my shape and fitness from the summer.

It's that simple, most other invitations will be declined, I just want a nice quiet but busy life over the next few months with as little extraneous activity as possible.

I'm looking forward to it.

New irish rugby shirt.

C'mon Ireland.... Wouldn't it be great to beat the Argies and stuff the bloody journalists.

Meaning V Happiness

Read a blog yesterday that inspired me to get a book called the Interpretation of murder, the first couple of paragraphs read like this

"There is no mystery to happiness.
Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn - or worse, indifference - cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn't look ahead. He lives in the present.

But there's the rub. The present can never deliver one thing: meaning. The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a man need only live in the moment; he need only live for the moment. But if he wants meaning - the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his life - a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them"

So if we must only choose between them, which should we choose?

There is a strong argument for happiness, the idea that we should live only in the present, but it's also a life without "WHY" and although I've never figured out why why is so important, I still have a feeling it is, there must be a purpose however simple, maybe that purpose is just to be happy, which makes a neat circular argument but brings me no satisfaction as to meaning.

There must be more to life than happiness...... it's the most lovely feeling, to be happy, but surely it's not possible to attain it as a constant state.

Mosre questions than answers again I'm afraid... I'll just read the book and see what happens.

Yuvraj Singh 6 sixes Twenty 20 Cricket 2007 England v India

The bloody rugby has me mithered, so here's a real class sporting moment instead, and to think there are people who think cricket is boring. Have a look at the young fella celebrating after the second six.

Shameless

I just found out that Fiona and Steve (Anne Marie Duff & James McAvoy) in Shameless are actually married in real life.

I'm as happy as Larry Gogan, It's like all the books I've ever read and all the movies I've ever watched might not be total fiction after all. Maybe Dorothy did get back to Kansas, Charlie really got to visit the chocolate factory and Tiny Tim had a happy Christmas after all.

The first two seasons of Shameless were totally brilliant, the helping with homework scene in series one and the steve and fiona stuff in series two were some of the best British TV ever made.

and now it might not all have been makey uppy.... i'm going to bed happy.

VW golf "changes" commercial

Advertising has always been one of my interests, in fact I studied it in college in 1987/88. This was my favourite commercial at that time and still is, the actress is Paula Hamilton (specially done up to look like princess Diana) and the music is by Alan Price...and VW are still doing innovative stuff as their new passat campaign has the funniest site at http://www.midlife-crisis-retreat.co.uk/

Closer.

Must be winter approaching, watching movies again and some of my favourites are popping up on the telly. Last week it was "Hitch" and last night "Closer"

What pops into a persons mind when they are watching a movie like "Closer". I have to admit the things which were flitting through my mind lst night were.

What's real and what's not?
Is winning important?
We all lose in the end anyway.

Actually having played a game on Saturday and lost, watched the rugby Saturday night, supported Cork in the All Ireland on Sunday and then watched Closer I went to bed with six million questions swirling in my head.

It's strange that the only certainty in our lives is that we'll die
If you play enough sport and continue to move up the levels it is inevitable that it will all end in defeat.
If you pursue happiness with enough vigour I've no doubt that it can only end in defeat too.

Happiness is a bit like time, you can't take it with you, you can't bank it, save it up or gaurantee it for the future.
All you can really do is enjoy it when it's there, like sport, time or love. The time to enjoy and appreciate sport is when you're in the middle of it. The only constant in the world is change, I woke up with a new determination to enjoy the day, to not waste what I've got, to enjoy those who are important to me and to appreciate what i've got.

Busy Busy Busy.

My football season is over, it ended as most football seasons end for most teams, in defeat. http://www.sligoweekender.ie/news/story.asp?j=33674&cat=sport and I have to admit it's strange looking forward to evenings with no training and weekends with no games.

I'm not sure exactly what is going to replace it for me, i really want to stay in decent shape this year so I'll play a little basketball and maybe even get to the gym and lift a few weights, something I've always wanted to do but never really got into.

Work is going really well, it was a busy week and next week is even busier, there are a lot of balls in the air so I am feeling really confident about the next 6 months.

Lining out for Roscommon on Saturday, that will be fun and apart from that it's a very quiet weekend ahead. I'll use it to find some quiet space, reflect and make some decisions.

Tom Waits - Tom Traubert's Blues - 1977

I'll have this one too please. Tom Waits has been one of the constant things in my life for the last almost 30 years. This song is so beautiful.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

There are only two songs that i definately want played at my funeral service, this is one of them!

Plain White Ts - Hey There Delilah - Official (HQ)

I just love this new (well I just found it) facility on youtube that allows me to post my favourite music direct to my blog. This is far and away my favourite tune of the moment.

The Sopranos finale (unedited)

Even the most amazing things have to come to an end.... and I LOVED the Sopranos.. was really sad when it ended, but the fact that no ones ever knew what would happen next was just brilliant...i'm not sure whether i hope there a movie or maybe that's just it. Black screen.... as Tony says..."focus on the good times"

Roger Sanchez - Another chance - Original Mix (Music Video)

Hitch is on.... Right now

If you're a guy you gotta love this movie, it's where the loser gets the girl, as opposed to the girl getting the shining prince.

Can't stay to blog...gotta watch the movie, it's like dirty dancing for blokes.

UPDATE. Ok I watched the movie again and now it looks a little sloppy and soppy at the end, see it really is like dirty dancing for fellas, I just don't get this Eva Mendes thing, how did that girl make it in the movies? She is to acting what I am to ballet.

Two little girls.

I'm not sure how to react to the latest news in the Madeline McCann case. I should feel vindicated a bit as I have long felt that the media shockingly misreported this story, using it to create a culture of fear of the unknown that of course suited the suits in BSkyB.

There would of course have been little interest if Kate McCann had been a black single mother, but no... an affluent white educated married middle class woman would immediately be assumed to be incapable of involvement.

It's the constant insinuation that we need to be very afraid of the unknown that gets me... it's the KNOWN we need to be concerned about, something like 93% of all child abuse, murder and abduction is carried out by people well known to the victim, in fact two weeks ago I watched the news in horror as details were revealed of the terrible torture and killing of a four year old by her mother and boyfriend in Huddersfield

Have you heard of Leticia Aaliyah Wright?

No i bet you haven't....

Deadly buzz!

Brilliant weekend at my little brothers stag party in Edinburgh, really really enjoyed it, weather nice, lovely hotels (the Radisson is really lovely) fantastic company and one or two beers.

Arrived late friday night to Indigo Yard

where the champagne boys we're having one of those arguments to see who had the biggest credit card and thought "oh my god, what have i let myself in for here" but boy did it take off from there and I only saw one more bottle of champagne all weekend and that was my own fault.





We then proceeded to the very lovely Tigerlily,



where entertainment included the fabulous "VIP" room, which most of us we're allowed into but some had to pay a tenner, it was only when inside the "VIP" room that they discovered it was the smoking area, oh how we laughed, the night was rounded up at the nightclub with the worlds lowest ceiling, a strange place where Barry Manilow bought me a drink.... time for bed really.

An early start on Sat at 8.30, down town for breakfast and a recckie on auld reekie, I've been there many times before but I love the feel of Edinburgh, particularly during August when the festival is on, back to the hotel to meet my older brother Des (apparently I don't really know him) and then we wandered round for a while before a nap, there followed a brilliant afternoon at one of the scummiest pubs in the world, Biddy Mulligans in the Grassmarket, which was absolutely brilliant craic, I laughed so much i hurt myself and eventually had to go for another nap, followed by a fabulous meal in the beautiful maison Bleau



Back to Mulligans where we encountered class and sophistication beyond belief (not) and then on to my favourite pub in Edinburgh, the 3 sisters, it ain't classy but it's just the height of craic and I've never ever had a bad night in the place, the only word is mayhem, the floor was made of broken glass, lager and a sticky substance I really hope was red bull, the place was heaving, everyone was up for the craic, there were no slobberers and it was just mega

















A quick visit to espionage nearly ended the night, but when i got back to the hotel and decided to have a late drink I discovered the maddest white rapper in the world who entertained the residents bar until the (very) early hours and was just amazing....

Sunday was a bit of a blur after all that, the Celtic match was an easy stroll and after watching the second half of the hurling it was time to head for the airport, a few delays meant I got home at 2am and monday was a very busy very tiring day.

3 things made this weekend for me.

My brother Des was a bloody revelation, such craic, I really enjoyed his company and stories most of which I'd never heard before.

The crew that travelled, as sound a bunch of lads as you'd meet in a ten mile walk

Enda's Michael Muirhertaigh / Seamus Duke megamix of the 91 Connaught final.

Jaysus I can't wait for the wedding now.

Don't KNOCK it until you've tried it.

Got this email today from a friend (who shall remain nameless).
From a logical perspective it's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time


"Never underestimate people’s preparedness to believe any oul shite. Massive coverage was given in the national press today to the Supreme Grand Wizard Sean Brady or whatever the fukk he calls himself who had a go at the Tarot card readers and Astrologers of the Country. And where did he do this? Knock of all places, Knock - where a group of hallucinating peasants said they saw the mother of god on the gable end of a church. You couldn’t make it up"


American papers please copy.

Change your mind!

Saw the news yesterday (an unusual enough event at this time of year) and they were doing a vox pop about the continuing American involvement in Iraq.

The reporter stopped this woman on the street and asked her if she supported the war in Iraq.

she said she did.

He asked why.

She said cos she voted Bush.

He asked why she voted Bush.

She said cos he supported the war on Iraq.

This is not a post about the war in Iraq, it's a post about how we think and how we rationalise decisions, we get caught in a loop, not always as obvious as this one... but we just do.

"So Michael will we sack John?
No
Why?
Cos I appointed him"

"So Phillip will you close your business?
No
Why?
Cos I started it"

I know i'm not getting this across very well and that my thinking is still fuzzy, but it appears to me that logic has less and less a role to play in our society.

By the way I really hope the Madeline McCann thing is not going in the direction the Portugese press thinks it should be going, I don't think our psyches would be able to handle the fact that people invested real sympathy and real tears in a lie.

If it turns out they did it, nobody will ever look beyond the parents in anything similar ever again, lets wait and see.

Bloody Football!

Why do I put myself through this?

Saturday, senior championship, was a sub, 1 point defeat after leading by 5 with 15 mins left

Sunday, intermediate championship, playing, 1 point defeat after leading by 5 with 15 mins left,

Monday, minor championship, manager, 4 point defeat after leading at half time and playing the 2nd half with the wind.

Tonight... training again

Insania.

We really do need to talk about kevin!

I don't normally read much fiction, but it being August and the weather being complete shite, I've robbed the shelves of a few novels lately, in fact I've read four in the last two weeks.

This is the stand out by a mile.

It's a great read which reminds me of the only time in my life I rang a radio show, it was Gerry Ryan about ten years ago and he was doing a piece on this English guy who was waiting to be executed on death row, and Gerry was doing his populist bit about what he'd like to see done to your man if it was Gerry's daughter he murdered.

He's all death penalty the bould Gerry, so i rang him up and asked him what he'd think if it was his son who did the killing, how would he feel then?

He gave me all this rubbish about how no son of his could ever do something like that. Funny enough I bet most parents of murderers would have felt the same

Anyway, that's what the book is about, it's from the mother of the perpetrator's perspective, and it's a damn good read, enjoy it (although enjoy is really the wrong word)

Rage, Rage, Rage.

I love my Apple powerbook, it's quick, easy to use and most of all looks drop dead gorgeous.... but sometimes even the things we love most have little faults that drive us round the feckin bend... and my G4 is no exception.

We've been together about 20 months and early in our relationship it could do no wrong, i was just thrilled to be seen along with it, and when someone was using one just like it in a movie or a tv show i would exclaim "what a smart person, look at the beautiful laptop they have"

It seemed our relationship put me right up there with Hollywood and I would never miss an opportunity to show her off.

And then one day she let me down...bad.

As often is the case it was only a little thing... her powercable broke, just when i was about to use her for an important presentation, and for a week i fumed at her, but i got a replacement cable, not a replacement laptop and things returned to normal, well not normal exactly, i noticed a difference in our relationship, i did not trust her so much anymore... and i was often found checking her cable and wondering would she let me down again.

Well she did... last week in fact... it's cost me a lot of grief and no little money, and i still don't have one..so she sits there, useless.

The guys in the computer store look at me now with a little sympathy, where once just to have her with me drew envious looks and great appreciation... this morning when i went (in vain) to collect her cable, they just looked a little sorry for me... did she let you down again they said...and i had to admit that yes..she had.

It's the same fault as before they said... she's flawed... and although we can patch her up for now... there's no guarantee she won't let you down again in future.

They never said it outloud... but i knew what they were thinking..

We have a beautiful one... a hollywood one... sans flaw... one you can take out with you and all you will draw are admiring glances... the old one will never do that again.. let her go... we'll take care of you.

But i can't... i still love her and want to give her every chance.. despite knowing that her cable may still let her down again... i'm going to give it one more chance.

There is a moral in this story... and it's this.

APPLE.... GET YOU'RE BLOODY FINGER OUT AND STOP MAKING BEAUTIFUL PRODUCTS WITH FATAL FLAWS..

I have macs... ipods.... and in the autumn i fully intend to have an iphone when they come out... but christ almighty why do you have to make it so hard to love you?

It's a bloody cable.... the most important part of beautiful design is that it does the shaggin job in the first place...

Rant over!

Some Days!

It's August, this month has frustrated me every year since I started the business, difficult to get work, difficult to get paid, difficult to contact people.

After my first August in this business I swore that I would create a situation where I could take the entire month off and enjoy myself, but it has not happened yet!

The problem is stuck in the middle, i'm neither at work or not at work right now, I have a lot of work lined up for September, but no one wants to see me for the next few weeks.

That sums me up right now.. stuck in the middle.

The only thing that gets me going when I feel like this is deliberately focussing on the good things, the things in my life that make it wonderful, family, friends, sport, fun, and the knowledge that this vacant somewhat gloomy phase will drift by, like it's always drifted by before... there's so much to appreciate and so much to look forward to.

Self awareness (self obsession)

It's mad really, that Socrates lad (or was it Aristotle) reckoned the unexamined life is not worth living, and yet these days the whole world is unhappy because everyone spends massive amounts of time staring at their navels and concluding that yes indeed they are too fat, poor, busy, neurotic, lazy, unhealthy, old, useless or some other bloody thing that can only be corrected by weightwatchers, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Garnier or Dr. Bobs mental agility training.

Maybe people should live a bit more and have a bit more craic instead of constantly looking for artificial holes that can only be filled by (expensive) miracle cures.

Them lads Aristotle and Socrates might have been better off having a few pints rather than starting off this obsession lark.

The wonder of google and youtube!

It's unbelievable, the sun is actually shining in Sligo, and we are told it may even shine tomorrow as well.

We threw a big outdoor party yesterday and had tons of friends round, it was great fun and i think everyone had a great time. The weird thing is that google has the potential to feck up that staple of all parties, the lively debate (we would never call them arguments.

Yesterday both Google and Youtube amazed a few people with thier capabilities, the conversation was about olympics when two of the lads had a difference over what race Dave Wottle won at the Munich Olympics in 1972.. there was no agreement so inside for the computer, a quick google and we had the Wikipedia entry for the bould Dave, which proved that TJ was right.. then he asked was there any pictures of Wootle on the net.. a quick youtube later and i was able to say..."i'll do better than that... would you like to see the race?" and so there were a load of people sitting on the patio watching the 1972 800 metres final.

the world is changing pretty rapid.

Saints and sinners!

That's just the way we like it.... serve it to us fast and quick please....

Delighted for Harrington.... the fact that he cracked and choked on the 18th when he had it in his grasp will barely be remembered... he's now officially a saint.... despite his inperfections.

And what about Joe O'Reilly.. the fact that he murdered his wife will never be forgotten... he's now officially a demon ... despite his apparent successes in life and the emails that show him as a concerned father.

Ah well.....Saints and Sinners...... that's apparently the way we like it....

I'm glad something like the Sopranos came along and challenged even in a small way this type of thinking... my experience of life is that one thing makes you neither either way... one act of evil does not make you a demon... and one big prize does not make you transcendant.

What a strange trade!

There are many things in this life that i have no understanding of, international currency markets, sex trafficking and certainly the drug trade.

Having never touched the white powder i've often wondered what is so special about it that normal people will consume it in massive quantities, but in my maddest imagination i had no idea it was this big... is it possible that someone can be transporting €200 Million of the stuff round for the Irish market, i mean, if a couple of lines costs €20, and that's enough to get one person high, then €200 Million is enough to get 10 million people coked up, this is a better business that selling burgers at closing time, except that we don't have 10 million people so some folks will have to do it twice.

Maybe we should just legitimise the stuff, if it was taxed like drink and cigarettes then the street value would be over a billion euro, we could do wonders with the revenue, i mean if the end users are going to do it anyway, and it appears they are, it would be better to spend the money on new sports pitches for the community rather than equestrian centers and villas in alicante for Gilligan and his likes.

I can hardly believe i'm going to say this, but i'll do it anyway..... I agree with former minister for justice McDowell on this one...... the end users have impunity, and while they do people will always traffic.... a better way of stopping this is to damage the middle class demand (the 10 million)...

A few well timed and very public armed raids on the dinner parties and venues where the social drug is consumed would have a far greater effect than trying to take on the criminal gangs.... cos the middle classes understand shame, and it's one of their greatest fears.

Let's get a few SWAT teams into Rathfarnham or wherever the intelligence tells them they have to be, let's have a few high proflle convictions for possession and use.... then maybe we'll put the traffickers out of business, cos everybody know's the main reason businesses fail (even criminal businesses) it's when there's little or no demand for the product.... and if the spoilt classes want to continue to indulge their habit, let's make sure there are consequences.

I gotta love Ricky Hatton

Never knew much about this lad, but he appears to be a rock of sense.

"Hatton then spoke about the relationship between himself and Wayne Rooney, a fact that astonished many observers given Hatton's frequently stated love for Manchester City.

"Wayne and me go back a long time, as he is from a family of boxers. I fought his cousin David who boxed for the Croxteth club and Wayne saw the fight, since then he has followed my career with great interest. He is a great lad and we don't have none of that stupid hatred that you get between certain clubs. Wayne could have actually been good at the boxing if he had chosen to go that way instead of football."

Hatton was touched by the level of support that he received in Las Vegas, among whom were Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole and Wes Browne. Did he see any blurring between the sports of football and boxing?

"I have a lot of mates who are footballers, Robbie (Fowler) and Joey )Barton) took me up to watch Rangers as they are big fans, but to be honest I really didn't enjoy the atmosphere at all. It might seem strange coming from me ,but the atmosphere was aggressive without being hard if that makes sense. I really didn't understand them at all. I then went with Wayne and Roy a few years back to watch Celtic and it was magic. Their fans were passionate and supportive and gave us a great welcome without getting in our faces all the time. Celtic has a lot in common with City in that they are the people's team of their city (sorry Wayne!) and they haven't forgot their roots, a real working class team which does credit to the city they represent".

The same may be said of Ricky Hatton a man who has brought great distinction to his city without compromising his background or his working class values"

Lost.

Had a lovely weekend, but feel totally lost for the last day or so, went down yesterday to visit Ger's family and I have so much going on in my head since.

I have hundreds of questions, but the most important one is "why Ger and not me?", and the randomness of it all makes me very angry, actually that's not what makes me angry, what really angers me is the people who try to explain... who try to explain it through religion mostly, I can understand how we can tell children stories to make them feel better and understand, a bit like Santa Claus, but as adults surely we can accept that parts of life are completely random and can't be controlled no matter what you do.

Two things.

1. Yesterday afternoon the limerick manager Richie Bennis was interviewed after a match and he put the win down to the fact that he attended a novena in limerick during the week, and described the win as "our lady's first miracle for limerick" I mean FOR FUCK'S SAKE" did the Tipperary people not pray hard enough or something, it's bloody ridiculous that we laugh at native americans doing rain dances and new guineans putting bones through their noses, but we believe this shit... maybe if Ger had prayed harder... well that's your reasoning Richie....I give up.

2. Actually i can't be bothered about the second thing.... still angry but think the rant has helped me a little bit... the thing about life is that there's no grand plan lads... it's a combination of personal choices and random chance... looking to the heavens, or doing a dance, or putting the bone through your nose in an futile attempt to believe that we can guide the chance bit is just delusional, maybe it helps some people to deflect responsibility for just living as big and as free and as strong as they can, but I'll take my chances thanks very much.

Why i love sport.

So Sligo beat Roscommon at the weekend, as i'm from Roscommon and live in Sligo I've had nothing but notice and slagging since, most of it good natured, with a few spiteful and caustic assholes thrown in for good measure, like the cavemen behind me on Sunday who derived great pleasure at the final whistle from calling me "an ugly Roscommon cnut"and telling me i could "F**K off back to Roscommon", but a lot of the Sligo lads and management are mates of mine and i'm delighted for them.

What i love about it is that it reflects life, we could stay away from all the matches and experience no pain at all, but then how would we enjoy the pleasure when this useless pack of knucks finally surprise us all and win something, so it's simple for me... either participate and take the belts on the chin or give up...and i'm not giving up cos i remember being there in 1974, 1977, 1978, 1980, 90, 91, 2001 and in ennis last year,,,, and on those good days it was made all the sweeter because of the terrible days..... so fair play to Sligo, and roll on the qualifiers..i'll be there.

PS. Have a match tonight that i'm just bigtime looking forward too, it's funny how quickly we get over our disappointments.

I hate blogger so much.

I noticed today that the post i spent half an hour writing last night and published 3 times has vanished into the ether and it looks like i never update my blog.... again.

I'll be starting a new business blog today over at www.newton.ie and I really have to keep adding to it, my biggest downfall in life is that i'm not always the most disciplined, sure i can do it if the stakes are high enough, but sometimes i'm not convinced that they are and that's when i let it go for a while without doing anything about it.

The really important things in my life i have no bothered being dedicated to and disciplined about... it's important that i see this new site and new blog as really important... that's what will help me make a success of it..

wish me luck and call over to see it.

now i wonder will this publish?

Grab it.

My friend Ger died yesterday.

I'm more convinced than ever that I need to live life as big as possible.
Cancer is an equal opportunities employer, it does not discriminate on who it strikes and takes, and there simply is no reason for some stuff, we all try so hard to find meaning and reasons for everything, maybe there is none? maybe many things iin life are just completely cosmically random.... think of the fluke meeting you had with your now best friend, maybe you were put sitting beside them in school, or sat beside them in a dressing room, or were in a Q at the same time in Tesco.

It's the same with our partners, we just happened to be in a certain place at a certain time, i know that my life was dictated and directed by a draw from a hat in 1985, there were six people in training and six national offices to send them too, there was Sligo, Tralee, Mullingar, Dublin, Galway and Kilkenny. My name came out beside Sligo, it's been wonderful for me but the truth is i'll never know what it would have been like if i'd got Tralee, or Kilkenny but i do know it would have been different, chances are i'd be working at something different, married to someone different, have a different circle of friends and worst of all my children could have Kerry accents.

I think there's a lot to be said for poker, there's no control over the cards you get dealt, the best players are the ones who know how to make the best out of them.... Ger certainly played his well...

Pressure!

The one thing that creates great businesses, the one thing that creates great performances, the one thing that develops great managers.... the pressure!

It's a gift really, but sometimes it's impossible to see that.

We rarely get to do anything wonderful or creative in the absence of some stimulus, and one of the best stimuli is a bit of pressure, i feel under a bit at the moment, but it's one thing that really gets me going, so therefore i should really be glad of it.

We certainly should not universally see pressure as a bad thing.

Reaching for Glory!

God that was great........the Irish six nations campaign documentary is just over and i so enjoyed it, but more important than that i think i learned something tonight.

Life is generally hard work and mediocrity, but if you stick that out, if you stay at it, then life will be punctuated by beautiful moments, moments when your heart rises with joy and you realise that it's beautiful and precious.

I've had loads of those moments, moments of absolute beauty, Horgans try against England, the birth of my two daughters, the final whistle in the 96 final, my first Christmas morning in our first house, winning a huge contract, a morning in Vienna, a chat this evening with my daughters, a walk on the beach, coming round a corner in Seville, and there are a few that i should not share really, intimate moments of Joy that make life worth living.

There are terrible moments too, the death of my dad, losing contracts, the evening Joy stopped breathing, stuff that would rock me sideways but then i remember that there will be more moments of ectasy in the future.

It's the stuff in the middle i find hard, the boring stuff, the slogging stuff, the fighting through stuff.... but tonight showed me something, it showed me the value of that mediocrity... without that there will be no moments to look forward too, without that investment there will be no reward, I'll be a spectator, and i don't want to be a spectator, i want to be a player, to fight it out, to take the knocks, to persevere and to take the chance of losing as well as the chance of winning....that's the stuff that makes life worth living.

There's a moment in the documentary where all is on the line, where the whistle has not gone, and Ronan O'Gara is lying on the ground unconcious, and at that very moment, when the prize was in sight, when it was almost there, John Hayes forgot about the ball, forgot about the game and went to his friend...and that moment was beautiful, it showed the courage of a man and the real place of sport.

Sport is important because it can bring moments of beauty to a life, like art can, but never ever at all costs.. and that's what i learned tonight, life is precious, sport can make life beautiful, but it's life that's precious.

If you get a chance to see it..... do.

How do you do?

People don’t really say “how do you do?” anymore, but it will be an unusual encounter where you won’t get asked “what do you do?” pretty early on.

I’ve had various answers to this question over the years, most of them fairly accurate like “I’m a clerk in the post office” and some not quite so accurate like “I’m a financial advisor” (which really meant I sold insurance).

In the last four years it’s gotten more tricky, now when I tell people that I help business owners, customer service staff, sales people and managers to exceed targets, they generally look at me like I have four heads and ask the question again.

People want to put us all in boxes, we want to know that Mick is a guard, Kate is a teacher, Johnny sells cars and Mary’s got a good job working for the bank, but the world is changing, and it’s not that easy anymore to pigeonhole people based on their primary occupation. Several years ago in his book “The elephant and the flea” the author Charles Handy spoke of a future where many of us would be what he called “portfolio” workers in that we would derive income from several different sources.

Many of these sources would not be at all visible to the outside world, and most of them would not even be what we traditionally called “work”. As we speak there are neighbours of your’s busy making money trading on ebay, testing computer games or even playing poker with Canadians.

In the past twenty years there have been many changes to what Irish people traditionally called work, a great number of people have become financially successful via property, a great many farmers primary occupation is paperwork and there are more and more people deriving their income through the entertainment industry, whether it’s in ringtones, websites or computer games.

The great thing is that no matter what the work that people do, there will always be a need for entrepreneurs to start it, salespeople to sell it, customer service staff to service the customers and wherever one or more are gathered on a project there will always need to be managers there to manage it, and you better believe that there will always be targets, and then bigger targets, and then even bigger targets.

So whether it be the manafacture of hydraulic equipment, landscape gardening, developing software or running a nightclub, the same basic skillset needs to be there to do it really well, these are the skills of running a business, sales, customer service and management, these are the foundations and after that if you can build better services, make quieter hydraulics, provide a better nightclub or grow better geraniums then you’ll be well on the way.

I help people with the “how” of sales, management, entrepreneurship and customer service so that people can really shine when they do what they do well, it’s not about what they do anymore, it’s about how they do it.

Those who do it brilliantly will be the successes of the future, those who do it poorly will eventually find themselves doing something else, it’s the way Darwin explained the world, the survival of the fittest and it’s no different now than it was all those years ago.

Election 2007

Have been a bit absorbed by this the last few days, and have a ticket to the count in Sligo on Friday, so am looking forward to that. It's been a brilliant last few days of the campaign, here's what i think so far.

FF. Great rally at the end, Cowen definate future leader, Bertie super on live debate, murdered Enda, looking at a solid performance, as you were or slighty down in seat terms.

FG. Exposed over the last few days, Kenny has done a great job as the party leader, but won't be trusted to deliver as country leader. Overall vote up (not hard)

Lab. Murdered in the run in... hanging onto FG's coat tails for dear life, fairly sure there won't be enough without a huge green performance.

Green. Have lost out in the great leadership race, will fall between the stools, should have thrown in thier lot with the alliance for change, will find themselves out in the cold.

PD's Getting a wee bounce from strong FF performance, would have written them off a week ago, will be donw from 8 seats but may still (although i doubt it) retain the disproportionate power they have wielded for the last ten years.

Sinn Fein. Terribly uninspiring and insipid campaign, have missed a great opportunity to move forwards towards 11 or 12 seats. Still it will come down to FF either forming a Govt with the greens and the independents, going to bed with Mary Lou, or heading back to the country....... or we can see Pat Rabbitte doing the country some service by saving them from the terrible shinners.

In Sligo it's Devins (FF) and Perry (FG) as certs, and after that it's going to be fought out by Comiskey (FG) who has the Leitrim advantage, Scanlon (FF) and McManus (SF) I have a sneaking suspicion that Comiskey might sneak it off Leitrim geographical voting with Lab and FG transfers.. cos McGarry and Henry are unlikely to get a quota between them and FF will suffer from not running a third candidate with a Leitrim base.

Still interesting times ahead.

What i love about sport.

So Sligo beat Roscommon at the weekend, as i'm from Roscommon and live in Sligo I've had nothing but notice and slagging since, most of it good natured, with a few spiteful and caustic assholes thrown in for good measure, like the cavemen behind me on Sunday who derived great pleasure at the final whistle from calling me "an ugly Roscommon cnut"and telling me i could "F**K off back to Roscommon", but a lot of the Sligo lads and management are mates of mine and i'm delighted for them.

What i love about it is that it reflects life, we could stay away from all the matches and experience no pain at all, but then how would we enjoy the pleasure when this useless pack of knucks finally surprise us all and win something, so it's simple for me... either participate and take the belts on the chin or give up...and i'm not giving up cos i remember being there in 1974, 1977, 1978, 1980, 90, 91, 2001 and in ennis last year,,,, and on those good days it was made all the sweeter because of the terrible days..... so fair play to Sligo, and roll on the qualifiers..i'll be there.

The inconvenient truth.

I'm no different, I find myself drawn towards the reassuring lie more often.

Right now the inconvenient truth is,

I have made some fairly serious business mistakes over the last year or so.
I have to begin to rebuild with the same energy and enthusiasm that I began the business with.
This is going to take a combination of money, energy and time.

The reassuring lies are

It wasn't my fault.
Everything will be grand if I just keep plodding along.
Something will show up.

Of all the things i've heard, read and coached over the years, the stuff that hits home best with me is the stuff about "getting started" So today is the day for me to get started again, to move away from reassuring lies, to face up to the inconvenient truth that this business which is less than 4 years old will wither unless I get stuck into it with renewed passion.

I've taken a few knocks over the last few months, but now is the time to dust myself off and get stuck in up to my elbows again.

Smoke and Mirrors!

If you look at it for a few seconds, you may discover that things are not always what they seem.
You may further discover that your eyes cannot always be trusted!

Strange.

Let's frighten the bejaysus out of them!

As part of my work I run management programmes and this always involves a module on motivation, which runs through Maslow and Herzberg and shows how in the past the major motivator was fear as in Roman Galleys and Soldiers in WW1 and how we've moved on.

But we haven't moved far have we?

The big bad bogey man is the major player in the election so far, with FF flagging the portents of doom if anyone else is in charge, FG and Lab trying to terrify us with law and order stories, and promising leglislation which will soon lead to mandatory sentences for looking sideways or slightly shifty at anyone in "charge" and the greens promising us that our childrens children will be bushmen of the Kalahari if we vote for anyone but them.

The Eircom Phonewatch guy is trawling the depths looking for reasons why burglars will visit our houses regularly at any time of year, and Rupert is running 24/7 coverage of the Madeline McCann kidnapp case.

Am i being cynical here, or would it suit the Eircoms and Ruperts of this world if we all stayed in our houses behind out high walls and our phonewatch system and watched Sky all day while ordering from Tesco online and growing fat on Ben and Gerry's which of course would cause us to buy weightwatchers special range and eventually lots of prozac and zytloft which would make us feel better about the fact that we've been caught in a trap from which it's almost impossible to escape and worst of all is the realisation that we walked into it voluntarily.....

I'm going to resist for another while, and try to live in the real world. without a phonewatch system, without a skybox, but with a bloody life.

A tenner in 1991?

You know all the lads who bought a house for 40'000 in 1991 and if they sold it today it would be worth half a million?

Well if you'd put a tenner on this in 1991, you deserve to be richer than Bill Gates, anyone would have laughed you out the door for even suggesting it, so fair play to Ian and Jeffery and Peter and even romping Sammy, it's unbelievable for this Island of ours to be able to look forward to intergration, equality, and freedom.

Now most of them won't know what to do with it all for a while, but in time i've no doubt it will be safe for Muslims to walk around Belfast, Ballymena and Portadown without worrying about whether they will be targetted as protestant muslims or catholic muslims.

"it's a fact"

Did you ever wonder about some of the stuff we are asked to believe, or some of the stuff we are told by others who insist that it's a fact.

One of the things I've really developed is the ability to question things, to challenge beliefs especially my own, but some beliefs are really strong, these are often the things that our parents tell us when we are young, and unless we conciously seek out the antidotes to these beliefs we may end up believing some strange things

for example

all fine gaelers are a bit touched.
all priests are great fellas.
all teachers are right.
Guards are never wrong.
the most important thing in life is a good pensionable job in any of the above 3 professions.

Now that i'm a bit older, i've discovered that there are fairly ok people in Fine Gael, that there are also dangerous and nasty priests, even teachers can be wrong... and although there are guards who refuse to believe it, even they sometimes make mistakes.

It just puts me wondering what else in the common belief system is wrong? what else that is trotted out as "a fact" is in fact not a fact at all.

ah i'll keep wondering.

PS. If you could move €10'000'000 from some mega plc bank account to your own, and never get discovered or caught, would ya?

Now i've figured it out.....

Bloody hell, it's taken me two years to figure out how to link stuff to the blog.... now that I can do it... I'll be a right pain in the arse linking stuff just cos i feel like it... starting with this

All we can see is 100 yards ahead.

This living in the past or living in the future stuff is a bit bonkers, i'm only saying this because I slip into it at times, and I'm trying to remind myself of how stupid it is... ok there's a time for planning, for deciding where I want to go and how i'm going to get there, but after that... it's about concentrating on the 100 yards in front.

If i decide to head for Galway tonight, and i figure out the route to take me there, then it's all about just getting on with it and concentrating on the 100 yards in front of me... if i decide to make some money and build a good business through training and coaching, then my job is to concentrate on the job in hand all the time, whether that job is delivering, coaching, selling, creating, whatever it is... what's important is that i focus and concentrate on the task rather than the plan.

i've heard Al Pacino's peace with inches a hundred times, but i never got the meaning of "the six inches in front of your face" until today... aren't I the silly boy?

It's a sense of perspective.

This may all have been prompted by the death on sunday night of a guy i knew who was the same age as me, or maybe not, I'm not sure.

Somedays the voice is there, Monday was one, especially the morning bit, I was useless, no good, life was pointless, and then for some reason i can never put my finger on it brightened up, I felt a lot better and then yesterday morning (Tuesday) I decided to write out all the things in my life that i was grateful for. I found it difficult to get started, family, house, friends, the normal stuff. But then after a minute or two the pen started flying, and i was unstoppable, i'm grateful for my brain, my legs, my ability to sell and keep customers, fun, where i live, the rossies, people who half understand me, long daft chats about life, the gnawing feeling that often keeps me on my toes, writing this daft blog, music, my ipod, my famous right knee, my childhood family, and more and more stuff just kept flying out until i had pages filled with things i'm greatful.

Here's the thing, I often feel down and envious of people who have it solved, those who are so relaxed that nothing is bothering them, but i'm pretty sure nobody has it solved all the time, everybody has doubt, it's part of life, but at the same time life is pretty good, whether we can see that or not.... here's a video that kind of sums it up for me


Somedays i know it's a wonderful world but I can't really see it.

The human footprint

I chanced across the most amazing programme on Channel 4 last night, it was called the human footprint and i believe (although they don't support macs) that you can watch it again for the next week on

http://www.channel4.com/watch_online/?hpos=Watch-Online

The programme which is beautifully shot and narrated, calculates the footprint or experience of an average British person (we'd be similar except maybe more drink) over their lifetime of 78.5 years.

Some facts amazed me and i was wondering watching the programme how I'd fit into their statistics

I've used up 1,325,721,609 seconds of my allotted 2,475,576,000 so on average i should have got through the following, however not being average i shall give my own observations.

40,000 cups of tea (definately less i love coffee)
2.4 cows (definately more, i love steak)
Shed 64 pints of tears (not sure)
Spent over a million pounds sterling (well i haven't saved much)
Smoked 53,341 cigarettes (about right i was a late starter)
Drank 4,113 pints of beer (someone's avin a laff)
Used 63 million words (unquestionably more, i never shut up)
Had sex 1,606 times (is that a year?)
and produced 515kg's of poo (lovely)

The most interesting part for me was the human aspect, the programme reckons we will "get to know" about 1,700 hundred people over our lifetimes, and they visually represented this beautifully, of these 1,700. 305 will die of heart disease, 179 of stroke, 99 of lung cancer (one is being buried today). There will be 10 suicides, 9 will be killed in car accidents and 1 will die in a fire.

Only 1 in 3 of us will know someone who is murdered (not yet thank whatever)

Now i'm heading outside to make it 53,342.

Agendas.

This wexford thing has me a bit would up today.

There's a mass of publicity and finger pointing now... i wonder how much of it is about preventing such a thing happening as easily in the future (it's not so much will such things happen, of course they will, it's more about can we console ourselves that we did all we could and it's not our fault)

Instead of the finger pointing to prevent it happening

Newspapers are finger pointing to get more readers
Radio Stations are finger pointing to get more listeners.
and Politicians are finger pointing to get more votes (or keep the ones they have).

To be honest i don't think many people give a flying hoot about the Dunne family, as long as i'm all right Jack.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

That silent scream!

Like the rest of the country i'm appalled at the tragedy that unfolded in Wexford over the weekend.

It's really got me thinking about life and society and I have to say it does not inspire me that we are travelling in the right direction. My thoughts on this are not exactly conventional and I speak as someone who has very little experience of suicide, but I am disturbed by the prevelence of it in society today and have my own opinion on how we have gotten to this point.

There's a device on the market currently which apparently gives out a sound on a frequency that only under 25's can hear, there's a silent scream that people who are in terrible pain give out too, but there are very few people who are attuned to hear it, maybe if we faced up to some recent cases we might try a bit harder.


1. Everybody hurts.
The REM song, like many pieces of art, works because people can silently identify with how it reflects thier own lives. How come as a society we regard hurting as a weakness rather than as a normal part of life? How come we invent millions of things to medicate the pain as the cure to something "wrong" with people?

2. Everybody denies it.
How have we evolved into a society where it's not ok to say we hurt? How have we gone down a road where depression is seen as a fault, where feeling pain is regarded as softness, where feeling fear has to be covered up in case it reflects negatively on us? For men particularly, how come we use sport or politics or property prices as our core conversations to cover up how we really feel about the challenges we face in a rapidly changing society?

3. We avoid rather than listen
Must everything be either judged or deflected? How come our listening skills are so bad? How come no-one can pick up on the pain until it's too late? How have people become so oblivious to the pain in others? Is it because if we never understand the pain in others that we then don't have to acknowledge our own?
Is it so we can convince ourselves that we're ok? Are we attempting to create the illusion that life is constantly great? If it's true then why the hell do thing like this happen? It's not great all the time, but it's definately not ok to say that?

4. How can we change our outlook?
Why is the pursuit of happiness such an important concept? I can understand the pursuit of pleasure, or the pursuit of a better life.. but the pursuit of happiness? All of literature, all of philosophy, all of psychology tell us that constant happiness is not a real or sustainable state, but we are constantly told, get this book and you'll be happy, gain that degree and you'll be happy, get that boyfriend and you'll be happy, take this drug and you'll be happy, buy that dress/car/apartment and you'll be happy. We know it's not true, but still we irrationally believe it.

5. Can we hear the scream and help?
Yes i believe we can if we choose to, I feel we have lost the art of listening, the skills of listening to understand. We have no time to listen, and sometimes by listening to others we may have to confront the pain in ourselves. There is just not enough emphasis on listening, it's not a panacea to solve all ills, but so many people wade through life feeling that nobody understands who they really are. I'm not talking about therapy here, although increased access to therapy would be a wonderful thing, i'm talking about friendship, and how we as friends can help to cut through the BS position of "everything's wonderful" and "sure I'm as happy as Larry".

6. Can we drop the illusion?
I'm not sure, i think it may be too powerfully ingrained, the connection that "if i'm not wonderfully happy, then i'm inadaquate and there's something wrong with me and i better hide it" is very deeply entrenched.
There are too many guru's, too many vested interests. I think the best we can do is develop the ability to listen to and support people and let them know just because they feel unhappy does not make them unique, does not make them inadaquate, does not make them failures...... IT JUST MAKES THEM HUMAN!